A bear on a greatly accelerated hibernation schedule.
Today I made some rice and curry. Went into my room to eat it, having left enough to have for lunch tomorrow. While I was in here, I heard Gerdi wake up (I had thought no one was home). She bumped around in the kitchen for about 10 minutes before shouting a bad word and leaving in a hurry. 

Came in the kitchen, and the rice and half of the curry were gone. 

…and the serving spoon is lying in the pan with lip marks on it. She was home from work with a fever four days ago. Why is this happening.

I sent the above story in an e-mail to Nathan a few minutes ago. Here’s the rest of the chain:
HimThusly why roommates suck.  you can either call her out on it or be passive aggressive.

MeOr just accept that that rice cost me $0.05, which I have, and boil the curry extra-hard before I eat it. And call her out if she does it again.