That is the title of a two-page spread in the Student Press, the university-wide newspaper.

Here’s an extremely low-quality picture of the article:

Image

In the upper right corner you can see a “Zachjotnaja Knizhka,” which is essentially a report card, but lamer. Here’s what they look like on the inside (that was a link, in case you missed it). For every course you take, the professor writes the course/instructor information, the student’s grade (if applicable), and then, once a zachjot (permission to take a final) is received, they sign it. But that’s not the point.

This article is a detailed (satirical) write-up on different methods of cheating. The introductory paragraph reads:

“The summer session figures more prominently than the former one in our zachjotki: the romantic atmosphere of the exams is in the air, worry depriving students of sleep  and the tragic image of term papers is never far from their minds. But among us are those who remain untouched by this splendid period. Those whose hearts don’t pound as they read lists of questions prior to an exam. It’s sad but some.. you won’t believe this…look at their tickets* on exam day. It’s to precisely such students that the SP offers this guide of the most popular cheat sheets and hiding places. If you’ve already put on your typical jeans and T-shirt, having forgotten, that it’s important to look “appropriate” (in all sense of the word), get changed and stock your gadgets.”

Here are the cheating methods depicted in the small circular images, beginning at 12:00 and moving clockwise.

1. What: “Manicure” Where: On a fingernail. Size: Depends on the length of your nails. Pluses: Convenient for formulas and keywords. Minuses: Small writing your hands are always in few, and there’s relatively little information.

2. What: Text on your heel. Where: In pen on your foot. A very useful and widespread type of cheatsheet at the Tibet University of Yoga. Unfortunately not popular here.

3. What: “Puss in boots” Where: In your boot. Size: depends on the season. Pluses: Very easy to pull out of your boot leg; convenient size (depending on the boots can extend all the way to the knee); it’sn ot difficult to find the necessary information. Minuse: Pulling it out is simple, but it’s difficult to hide again in the case of an unexpected raid by the professor.

4. What: “Spur arsenal” Where: Under your skirt. Size: Anywhere from a multitude of small Post-It Notes to several sheets of notebook paper. Pluses: Difficult to detect and can’t be taken away; there is space for answers to every question; it’s easy to use. Minuses: not suitable for all skirts; not every student has a skirt; may be difficult to find the necessary page.

5. What: “Garmoshka.” Where: On your palm/in your sleeve. Size: Determined by the quantity of tails (?? apparently there’s a slang meaning of this word) for the semester. Pluses: You can fit a lot of useful information on a small piece of paper; it’s easy to copy off of your non-dominant hand. Minuses: If you copy for a long time, your hand will look unnatural; the paper might get lost down in a wide sleeve.

6. What: “bomb.” Where: Under your clothes. Size: depends on the size of paper for the exam: either A4 or notebook paper size. Pluses: Provided sufficient dexterity, you can finish the exams in a matter of seconds. Minuses: Provided insufficient dexterity, you may fail to finish the exam in a matter of seconds. Hard to find. A packet with answers to 98 questions is easy to see under a T-shirt.

7. What: headphone. Where: right there. Size: The smaller, the better. And hair. The longer, the better. Pluses: If you have a comrade with good hearing and decent diction, you can pass the exam for the small price of a phone conversation. Minuses: You have to resist temptation to ask questions; otherwise you’ll attract attention. Also not recommended for classrooms with good acoustics.

*The most common format for Russian final exams is an oral test in which each student draws a ticket with a question on it, and then must answer the question before a panel of professors.

Source, because ‘Murca (author’s name redacted because I’m not stupid):

R., J. “Стыдно, когда видно.” Students’ Press [Cherepovets, Russia] May 2013: 8-9. Print.

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