Started the day off with rotten cucumbers at breakfast. It could only go up from there.

I discovered after setting up for my morning lesson that morning lessons had been cancelled because people are lazy. So we went basically immediately to the capital, Valletta, which is about 25 min away by bus. By the way, all of Malta is on the same public bus system.

Anyway, Anna wanted me to do our lesson while waiting at the bus stop, which I thought was just about the stupidest thing ever,  but fortunately the bus came just in time, so I didn’t have to. We’re doing the lesson tomorrow instead (although I specifically designed it to go with today’s activities–that’s not my problem). 

Anyway, so we took off to Valletta, which was rather impressive (huge moat thing and towers and ruins and such), but so dense with tourists that it just makes you want to hide. So when our guide didn’t show (granted, we were an hour late, only partially through fault of our own), that’s exactly what I did. Anna was really upset that the guide thing hadn’t worked out, so she got everyone an audio guide instead. It turned out to be awful–at every site it would say maybe 2 sentences about when the building was built, what it was originally used for (usually business or hotel), and whether it is beautiful (seriously). It was in Russian, though, so I played along for a few buildings before leaving it with my partner (we had more people than the company had audioguides, so we had to share) and pcing out. Went perpendicular to the main street and walked as far as I could until finally I was relatively free from the shuffling and squealing of tour groups and their absurd umbrellas.  Found a music shop, which turned out to sell records and such, but who referred me to a real music shop (instruments) in another city. Had a salad that puts every Russian salad to shame: arugula, which, for the first time in my life, I enjoyed, beautiful leaf lettuce, balsamic vinegar, tomatoes, and fresh mozzarella. With that, I ordered a beautiful chicken and cheese pie with a flaky, perfectly browned crust and artfully sprinkled sesame seeds on top. Bit into it and discovered that the inside was a breaded, fried, Tyson-esque, mechanically-separated-and-reassembled chicken patty. It was such an absurd combination that I couldn’t even be annoyed. 

In the afternoon  a few of us reconvened (including one of us who I had systematically dumped earlier in the day–it was lunchtime, and there was no lunch, and I cannot be held responsible for my actions) and set off for Saint Julian’s. There I met Anna briefly on the beach, where she finally spoke some blessed Russian to me, and then she went to get ready for the Rotary Club gala dinner, which is a BFD lots of people are going to tonight. I am not going because never in my life have I thought a meal was worth 55 euros. Even with live music. 

Speaking of things I’m not doing, there’s a cruise scheduled for Monday, and I wasn’t super excited about it because cruises are lame (and we’re going on a baby cruise tomorrow anyway). WELLLLLLL it turns out there’s a horseback riding place here, and it’s 20 euros an hour to ride ponies on the beach! You can guess where you’ll find me. 

Sorry about all the first-person pronouns. Will endeavor to be less egotistical in future.