Cultivating watermelons is a lot like working at an understaffed camp for high schoolers: no matter what you do, you can’t keep everybody out of everybody else’s bed.

Plants’ leaf production is like working an office job: they only want to do it until a better opportunity comes along. So the only way to keep them doing it is to be constantly cutting them down so they don’t feel powerful enough to try new things.

Rattlesnakes sound a lot like an animal peeing on leaves. Don’t investigate strange noises in the woods.

Potatoes are a lot like Satan.